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4vermine4

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Depression

2 min read
Welcome to the world of
"I need help but I'm too scared to ask for it."

Welcome to the palace of depression:
The place where those who have the key can't ever truly leave,
and those who know of it understand their inability to understand,
and the people who don't have it, call it 'nothing'

They don't see past the smile; the broken look just past the mask.
They dont hear the screams and pleas for help.
They don't understand the utter deafening thunderclap of silence
They dont understand how silence can drown a person.
They dont understand the voices that are loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough to seem unobtrusive.
They dont undertand how suddenly the utter pain of depression can grab a person;
everything could be perfect when suddenly it's like a switch is flipped and you just want to yell or cry or both
and most especially
these people dont understand the struggle it is to keep going,
to smile at everyone and say we're okay in a way that fools even our closest friends because we say it in the same way we tell ourselves every second of every day,

Depression isn't just a path to self harm and suicide and yada yada, anything can lead to that,
a man jumped off a building, his note? His reason?; he had a tooth ache.

No, 
depression is a nonstop battle, it strikes in the middle of a conversation and we have to keep the words flowing without anyone realising the complete pain that just gripped our hearts and removed the bottom of our stomaches.

Depression hits in the middle of a rare heart felt laugh, and we have to cover up the earth shattering sound of desperation that escapes with a "laugh induced cough "

Depression is in our heads
And our hearts
And our entire beings
Depression is

Don't ever
tell someone or let someone tell you
Otherwise 
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Scars

1 min read
Please dont kiss my scars
Dont treat them like  bumps or bruises or things that heal and go away
Don't draw versions or symbols of them on you
I dont want to you to even pretend you have them

Dont look at me with pity
Or sadness

If you dont understand than

Look at them with curiosity
Look at my scars and pretend their the cover of a worn book
Something to look at before you delve into the story
Cause thats what they are
Pictures without context
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I see you.
I see your smile and how it doesn't come from happiness
I see your eyes and the pain everyone ignores
I see your weight and how much you hate it
I see your skin and all the flaws you despise
I see your scars and all you do not to look at them
I see your pain and all you do to conceal it

I see you 
And
I hope you know

I hope you know your smile gives me a fleeting moment of happiness
I hope you know your eyes always see me when I need you
I hope you know your weight makes it easier to hold you
I hope you know skin is how I know you
I hope you know your scars are simply milestones
I hope you know that while your drowning in pain you are the only thing keeping me afloat

So here, take my hand and we'll stay afloat together even as we drown
Because 

I see you and I hope 

That that never changes
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Let me be your darkness
Confide in me and tell me your darkest thoughts and fears
Scream at me
Cry before me
Fall apart infront of me
Darkness does not tell your secrets
Darkness absorbs them and holds them
Let me be your darkness so you can shine
For even stars cannot shine without darkness
But you don't have to be your own darkness
Not anymore
Let me be your darkness
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Too Sweet!!!

3 min read
I saw this on SilverWolf915's profile and had to post it:


Too Sweet!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don't let go.
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
When she's quiet, ask her what's wrong.
When she ignores you, give her your attention.
When she pulls away, pull her back.
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
When she's scared, protect her.
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up.
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does.
When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers.
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it.
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you.
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.
Give her the world.
Let her wear your clothes.
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she's important.
Kiss her in the pouring rain.
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Who's ass am I kicking, babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will:
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Awww~ This is very adorable~ Ladies, repost this.
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Featured

Depression by 4vermine4, journal

Scars by 4vermine4, journal

I See You And I Hope by 4vermine4, journal

Let Me Be Your Darkness by 4vermine4, journal

Too Sweet!!! by 4vermine4, journal